Something Is Telling Us Not To Get Married…

We have been bombarded with numerous omens telling us, we are just simply not suppose to get married.  There was the disaster we had five years ago that meant postponing the wedding. There’s an old Steve Martin’s film, I think it’s called the Man With Two Brains, a quirky comedy, where Steve Martin’s plays a widower surgeon.  In the beginning of the film just after he meets a woman he wants to marry he turns to the portrait in the house of his wife and asks it to send him any signs if he shouldn’t marry this woman.  The portrait starts to whizz around, the house starts to vibrate, everything trembles and the house is almost falling apart…when everything calms down again, he says since there is no signs…ok then…I’m going to marry her.  That’s kinda how it’s been for us in the last few months.

All Planned But…

The venue has been booked for two years but because the economic climate changed so drastically in the last year we couldn’t really decide if we were going ahead until late Spring, and a lot of this urmming and arrrinng was also because of the diagnosis of Cerebral Palsy of the 3 year old in January.  This news meant we were spinning with all sorts of confusion on how to proceed with the best treatment and therapy for her,  we were given contradicting advice and wrong advice of what was best for her.  Eventually when we sent out our save the date cards, having left it so late, we have quite a few of our friends who are unable to attend because of prior commitments.  Disappointing but understandable and given that, how ever much you may want someone at your wedding there is no guarantee they will be able to make it next time, life is just not quite like that.  After a lot of….shall we…shan’t we…postpone?  We thought the most important thing of all, was for us and the girls to be there in good health, my dad to walk me down the aisle, my mum and gran and other family members to be there, and considering we already had to postpone 5 years ago because of Bikerboy’s mum illness, we felt it was right to go ahead.

We have had other difficult things to deal with in the last few months and weeks but we persevered with plans.  Now I’m sitting here with a wedding happening just around the corner, wedding dress finished and waiting to be collected in three days, girls nearly all ready to be taken over to Portugal very soon, so we can follow by car, and we just received news today, that  all the preparation we made for the paperwork has not been processed and therefore there will be no registrar coming out to marry us in Portugal.

Dealing With The Portuguese Consulate

My divorce was never registered in Portugal.  Months ago I had to go to the Portuguese consulate, take my divorce papers.  First I had to  get them signed at Holborn Courts, on my birthday I might add, for the consulate to translate them and processed them, notify the authorities in Portugal.  I  paid them of course for this, but I walked away four months ago with a receipt in hand and the assurance that once the translation was done they would e-mail Portugal.  They didn’t and haven’t.  When my dad went to check last week in Portugal nothing had been sent.  I turned up at the consulate with the receipt.  A risky business turning up at the consulate because everything now is done by appointment only, but the catch is you can not phone them, you can only e-mail them, and  they will e-mail you back however many days later, even weeks, giving an appointment time.  It  feels like the sort of system belonging in a Catch 22 novel.

They did see me last week.  I was told by the same guy behind the desk I saw when I processed my papers, that my case hadn’t been dealt with.  My favourite bit was when he told me, the Only person in the whole organisation dealing with this was on holiday until the end of this week.  He shrugged his shoulders when I showed despair telling him our wedding was this month!  He turned to me and asked if I had informed the colleague dealing with this about my wedding?  I said, “No, I told you I was getting married.  I couldn’t tell your colleague because I wasn’t allowed to see her last time I was here.  You were the only person that I was allowed to see.  You were the person who told me how it works, that I had to pay for the service and it would be dealt with.  I paid my money, but the consulate has failed to process my case!”  He shrugged his shoulders and said, ‘I don’t deal with these things, I’m just the receptionist, there’s no one here that deals with this at the moment.  There’s nothing I can do.  You need to come back when she returns from holidays”.   He walked away from me…there was no one else there.  I walked away after having talked very loudly waking up the half asleep poor souls in the  waiting room, spouting out my gratitude for everything they have done…after taking my money!

We Thought We Could Beat the System

Bikerboy’s birth certificate had to be translated and then legalised by the UK foreign office in Milton Keynes in order for us to be married in Portugal, this is standard procedure.   A few weeks ago we paid for the translation and then I drove to Milton Keynes to receive the stamp on the translation.  We thought maybe if we did the same with my divorce papers, the Portuguese office would accept this as they accept the birth certificates.  And off I went this morning to Milton Keynes while my dad in Portugal went to the check this was ok.  Tonight we received the news the Portuguese office will not accept this.  They have to receive the notification through the London consulate, they wouldn’t accept the legalised documents I sorted today.  They accept the birth certificate this way but not my divorce papers.  They would accept it  IF I lived in Portugal, but because I live in the UK, it has to go through the consulate.  I can not get my head around this one at all!